Is Whiskey Amazing or Evil?

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‘If-by-whiskey’

A famous debating tactic that can be seen in every politician, in every party, in every corner of the globe. It refers to an argument that makes no argument, playing both sides to avoid taking a proper stance. It is more relevant than ever as our politicians scramble to both support and condemn a certain Middle Eastern nation in equal measure.

Unsurprisingly, this has its roots in whiskey, namely from a speech given by Noah S. Sweat, a state representative in Mississippi. In 1952, when alcohol was still illegal in his home state, he used language that portrayed whisky as both a demonic broth that had caused pain and destitution to many, then immediately followed this with an equally grandiose depiction of whisky as a scholarly drink that brought men together and spread goodness into the community.

He begins by referring to whisky as ‘the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster’, before explaining how it opposes the goodness of Christianity and ‘literally takes bread from the mouths of little children’. This was reportedly met with glaring disapproval from the wets, and rousing cheers from the drys.

After a pause, he said, ‘But’.

And threw himself into a description of whisky as ‘the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together’. He likened it to the Christmas spirit, and extolled the virtues of how its sale indirectly funds charity, the construction of roads and even the building of hospitals. Yet again he was met with both cheers and glares, but they were coming from the opposite sides of the room.

Sweat ended his speech by saying, ‘This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise’. The whole thing wouldn’t have been out of place in an episode of Parks and Recreation. Maybe it was the very foundation of those idiotic town forums?

Prohibition was eventually lifted in Mississippi in 1966, showing that Sweat’s speech truly made absolutely zero impact. If you want to read the full thing, it can be found on Wikipedia, and is a very good read. Just be prepared to have very conflicting feelings on whiskey afterwards.

TRIVIA

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