The Sweet Spot of Distilling

Have you ever failed to find the sweet spot? And you’re just kind of left disappointed and well… hungover. I’m talking of course about the sweet spot of distillation. And because I know you’ve always suspected, yes. Yes. Cheap spirits do make you more hungover. You did not imagine that.

In distilling there are cuts: heads, hearts, and tails. But forget that. Only whip it out if you’re trying to impress someone. Here we will simplify, just think blindness, fuck yes and hangover.

So, how is whisky made?

In the still you put the wash -fermented barley-, which is basically a strong beer. I’m told by Ian, at Dalwhinnie (who’s 6 ft 7” btw, as he kept mentioning). Incidentally, Ian said that if you drink this beer wash, you’ll violently shit yourself, due to its strong laxative properties.  I’ll be honest though, whisky beer…

So, you put the beer wash in the still and begin heating it. At 65 methanol begins to boil off (or at 64.96 if you’re a prick). The only thing you need to know about methanol is that in large quantities it causes blindness. If you just nod and think “oh, that’s the blindy chemical, they take it out to not make me blind”. Oh, and with a few other compounds it’s known as the heads.

Now. Ethanol. Sweet, sweet, ethanol. Some say if God shed tears… anyway to be frank, it’s the shit. It’s that shit that’d make you say damn, I’d put that in a charred oak bourbon barrel for ten years, then perhaps another 2 years in a sherry finishing cask, to then have it bottled and drink it dram by dram. Yeah. Smooth. And at 78 it boils off for collection.

But wait. You might be thinking. Aren’t 65 and 78 kind of close together? The blindy chemical and the nice one? Yes, they are. You ask yourself well ethanol and methanol are basically just hydrocarbons, wouldn’t a fractional distillation setup, instead of a single column, be safer and ensure a cleaner, clearer spirit collection? Good observation. But no, this is why spirit production is heavily controlled. It is here where the distillers, bloody masters have to sort their ‘cut’.

The ‘cut’ is where a distiller shows how bold they are. They ‘cut’ the distilled liquid streams and separate them. This keeps the blindy chemical out. They are an overlooked and underappreciated safeguard. Watchful protectors. They distil spirit right.

Hangovers. We all get them; we all hate them. And at a certain age they become two days long and have an emotional impact which simply makes one want to curl up under a blanket and have the world go away. They’re traumatic. And of the main causes:

 The tails. These are heavy alcohols that our body can’t really process, and it takes a lot of water and liver activity, ultimately dehydrating you and creating a worse hangover.

Cheap spirits usually have a wider range in their ethanol capture and then contain more heavy alcohols and thus are more likely to cause a hangover.

So basically, drink better whisky and you’ll be fine.